Sunday, March 1, 2009

Four

Nan Chiau Primary School was my school for 6 years. It was small, very simple, and everyone knew each other. It was a comfortable place to grow up in. After graduating from primary school, everybody went their separate ways. In the leaving cohort there were only around a hundred students, so people were lucky if they went to the same secondary school.

I wasn’t so lucky. I was the only person from Nan Chiau Primary to be posted to Boys’ School X. I haven’t heard of it before and I didn’t even know it was an all boys’ school (till days before the first day of school). It turned out to be a huge school with over 400 students per cohort. It was also a mission school (religious education was part of the curriculum in school).

All along, my parents have been rather open with my choice of religion so I’ve never had any form of religious education before. At the same time, both of them are Buddhists, so you can roughly guess which side I’m skewed towards. So imagine how it was like for me to attend a service and be told that it was compulsory, and to bring a hymnal along to sing songs of praise every Tuesday, and stand through long “sharing” sessions by the teachers every single morning during assembly.

The worst part of it was: I was alone. Only some weeks later, I made some friends and things weren’t as bad as before. There was this boy, Eugene, who was going through the same patch as I. We took it up to the Head of Level (Secondary One) and asked her why the Indian boys were excused and us, not. She gave us the mission school reason and we were simply defeated. After that, I gave in. I sat in services with an open mind and enjoyed all the morals of the stories.

All till Mrs Icantsayhername, my Literature teacher, got off the wrong side of bed one morning and came into class with a mission of her own. She wasn’t into teaching that morning; she simply came and preached to us in an awfully misleading manner. She was trying to put across a simple message: Non-believers convert or you will be going to hell. That hour of lecture was etched deeply in my memories.

Nicholas asked me later during recess, “Roy, how? Are you converting?”

“No, are you?” I asked.

“Yea, don’t convert will go to hell eh,” he replied.

She managed to intimidate a few of my classmates into converting. Nicholas was one of them.

Later in life, I’ve had friends bringing me to services at different churches; I even went to some on my own accord. I’ve come to know the meaning of service and preaching, of hymns and of prayers. I believe Mrs Icantsayhername meant well, but she let her emotions get the better of her and chose to spread the word in a not-so-subtle way.

Is there something else in her behavior that I’m not seeing?

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

15 comments:

  1. Hey Roy,

    I'm a Christian and I've realised how many of my non-Christian friends have often come across people like your teacher.

    I believe that it was the way in which she sort of "forced it down your throat" which made some of your other friends did not really have a choice. No doubt I agree with you that she meant well, but her method could have been more well received had she tried another approach, as I believed she scared some of your friends into making that choice. As a Christian myself, I don't feel that it's right to get anybody to believe what I believe out of fear. It should be on a personal basis and not because one was coerced into doing so. I'm glad that you did not choose to avoid just attending Church in the later years to find out and see for yourself what it really was about.

    This is just a little effort for all of us to be more open to other religions and also to be mindful that not everyone would take your religion the same way you do. A lot of misunderstandings of the different religions could have been avoided when people don't impose their religions on others, don't you think? (:

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  2. This is a very interesting, nearly comical post, Roy. I like the way you put your experience with Mdme Icansayhername into a context by describing first your primary school and family, then the secondary school, which was indeed a new culture for you! I also enjoy the dialogue that you create between you and Nicolas. That creates a clear picture of what you two were experiencing in the lady's class. Ouch!

    Oh yes, the search for converts: I have to admit, having been raised a Protestant and attended church from young through my teenage years, and then having asked many questions of myself about the purpose of religious faith, the importance of spiritual beliefs, the place of religion in society, and the essence of most humans' need for a belief system, your story resonates deeply with me. You have communicated very concisely the core question that troubles so many of us: Is the threat of hell reason enough to become a believer? (And the other implied question: Is following a religion because it is in one's parents' culture really a legitimate reason?)

    Like Jane writes, it's admirable of you to have given more time later in life to a religious doctrine that was so faithfully forced on you as a sec student.

    Good luck on your spiritual journey!

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  3. Hey Jane,

    Yup I agree with you. People should be more sensitive when it comes to religion. In a way after Mrs Icantsayhername's rather extreme remarks, I became more open (I think) to religious views. Though I can't really say I'm thankful for what she told us.

    Thanks for the comment!

    Cheers!

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  4. Hey Brad,

    It was really bad! It's been 10 years and I still remember it.

    I think I grew accustom to this culture! I went to Nanyang Junior College in the first 3 months of JC, and I missed it (another cultural exchange, haha).

    Thanks for sharing, and for the luck. I'm still exploring beliefs (and myself).

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  5. Hey Roy,

    This is an interesting post! Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I am an non-christian and hence I feel that I would also feel tha same when i was to attend the compulsory service in school.

    As an non-christian, I have been approached by friends to convert to christian. Sometimes, I would also be appraoched while waiting for bus at the bus-stop. However , I had not met cases when they would actually "force" me to convert. Basically, they would tell me about their belief and share their pleasant experiences they had; or how christian has changed their life for better. As I have my own set of beliefs, I did not choose to convert in the end. However, I do respect their belief and appreciate them for sharing their experiences with me:)

    Lastly, religion is just a set of beliefs a person has. Thus, it cannot be forced upon as nobody can change what you believe in.

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  6. Hey Roy,

    Nice post! Im not sure why the Indian boys were excused but I find it strange. However, I do think they should stop going on about conversion if the listener isn't interested at all.

    Referring to what Qi ying said about beliefs, I think that sometimes it is possible to change ones beliefs. I believe, certain incidents, actions and even words can change ones attitudes and beliefs. If not we will still be the same as cavemen but with mobile phones, laptops and cars.
    "Change is the only constant"

    Do correct me if im wrong.
    :)

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  7. Hey Roy,

    This is a rather interesting post!
    As Priya has mentioned it, I also do wonder why only Indian boys are excused and not also those of other religion. On a side note, unlike your friend, it is good that you choose to stick to your own beliefs. Its funny how your Literature teacher imposed fear on the students by saying that “non-believers will go to hell if they don’t convert”. Rather extreme, I would say.

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  8. Hey Roy,

    I feel bad for you being forced to convert. I myself was from an all boys school too, in fact I was in there for 10 years (now everyone knows where I am from). I too had to go through religious practices such as mass and prayers, but never was I forced to convert. Even till now I remain a free-thinker. I guess most of these practices may bore non-believers of the religion but I myself enjoyed some of them. They are insightful and helped me develop into a better individual.

    I personally feel that it is wrong to force someone to convert to a religion that he doesn't believe in. And I guess it goes against most religions' teachings. Therefore, I personally feel that if you do not want to convert don't convert, because no one can force you as this is your rights. However, it may be good to listen to some of the religion's teachings.

    Thanks once again.

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  9. Hey Priya,

    I think I asked my Head of Level (regarding why the Indian boys were excused), but I forgot her answer. Haa.

    I feel the same about change, but not so much about beliefs. I think a person can only commit to a belief, for example, what happens after death? Nobody has the real answer, and I think religion just.. gives us a concept about what happens. Can a person believe in one and after time, choose to believe in another? I'm not too sure about that too.

    Cheers, anyways!

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  10. Hey Nadiah,

    Haha, I didn't really stick to my beliefs. I didn't know what I believed in. I chose not to be intimidated into believing something I don't even know if I believe in.

    Nicholas goes to church at West Coast Road (beside West Coast Plaza). I think it turned out pretty fine, and I'm very glad for him.

    Thanks for sharing!

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  11. Hey Keldren,

    Yea, and when we reached secondary 4, they showed us satanic stuff and rock and roll bands that were "associated" with the devil. Haha. It was quite an experience.

    Thanks for sharing yours!

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  12. Hey Qiying,

    Just realised I missed your comment. Yes, thank you and you're welcome! I've had friends who converted (though not many), and they faced many difficulties such as the family members' opposing their decision. It goes to show how strong their belief/ change of belief is. I also have a Muslim friend who is currently dating a non-muslim chinese girl. I wonder what will become of them..

    Cheers!

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  13. Hello Roy,

    Interesting post and I really appreciate the fact that you make an effort to reply to everyone's comments :D

    I think you had actually wrote a clear and illustrative account of an issue that i had felt would be too difficult to be summarized in a single blog post. Very good job there and I think it was pretty cool of you to maintain your ground and not convert when you really didn't feel the connection with a certain religion.

    I had been a free thinker for most of my life but one of my closer friends is a Christian. She sometimes invite us to her church on Games' Day or some performances which I enjoyed as it enabled me to learn some new things about Christianity. However, what really put me off was when she tried to convert me and told me she would be very sad to see me suffer in hell in my after-life. Even though I knew she meant well but I was still quite offended as I felt she was judging me from a self-jusstified moral higher ground and it didn't seem like a convincing reason to convert(like am i supposed to convert because i want to 'buy' my way into heaven?). I later told her about it and she apologized and said that was not what she meant :)

    I think in your Literature teacher's case, she was not being a good representative of all Christians and like you said she was probably blinded by "a mission of her own". I think it maybe better for you to learn more about the various religions and decide for yourself at the end as personally I feel religion is a very private issue.

    P.S. The last 2 lines of e post was hilarious :p

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  14. Hey JingYang,

    Thanks for the compliments!

    So I guess you're still friends with that girl who tried to convert you?

    Yes, I agree with you that it is a very private issue. I feel that religion is a decision to make, so I'd want to make an informed one, maybe in the process I'd learn about life and.. the many things about life? Haa.

    Adrian, my sec3-j2 classmate, went to church with me for a while. Whenever they called for non-believers to you know, raise their hands and like convert, he gives me a nudge but he doesn't do anything else, not even look at me. Haha I'd just brush that aside.

    And that's just a disclaimer! Haa.

    Cheers!

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  15. No worries I guess the indian boys probably had permission letters from their parents to be excused from prayers.

    It is quite funny how JingYang's friend also tried to convert her. I hope she wont let this incident get in the way of her friendship with her friend.

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